Secret Vault

I stood over the bar. Mary(pronounced Mah-ree) looked beautiful in her yellow sundress. She had a receipt written out, but needed my Domicilio. I got that confused with my Apellido. I started spelling my last name. She chuckled. I knew I had the word wrong. She didn’t have the where-with-all to explain what it really meant.

Her 71 y/o father entered the scene. He had spent 40 years of his life in Long Beach CA. He said it meant address. I told them that I didn’t know my domicilio. He asked me if I had a telephone number. I said I don’t carry a telephono. Laughter should have been in the air, but it wasn’t. But it would be soon. I just needed more time.

I handed over 600 pesos to cover us for the month. The Jefe said that I misunderstood, and that it was 600 dollars. I went out on a limb and processed his comment as a joke. “Oh, OK..wait a sec., and let me go out to the car and get more money,” I said. I saw the smirk already appearing on his face. The ice had been broken.

We talked and talked. He told me about all sorts of stuff. Tarzan, Mexican Mafia, Crocodiles, Young Pretty Ladies, Givers vs Takers, Carne Asada Tacos, you name it. He broke down the history of his Sweet Water Lagoon, and the many stories that went along with it. My partner was long gone on his morning paddle. I was conducting business.

I told him that we were good people, and that his daughter is so very lovely, and that she’s been taking great care of us. I told him that we will do everything in our power to make things right around here. I thanked him again for allowing us to keep our equipment locked away on his property. I then got on my board and went for a two hour paddle.

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If the shoe fits..

Nicknames. I’ve made a career out of them. A large percentage of the people that I consider friends and family have a nickname. The great ones evolve. I’ve got some great ones.

And I’ve been given nicknames too. I’ve made a career out of accepting them. In many cases, I make subtle suggestions to the giver of the nickname, how he or she might even improve it. It can be a sensitive subject. But trust me, I’ve been given real stupid ones. And in some cases, the only reason why I am given a nickname is because the person figures I have one coming. Have one coming?

I know this guy that I have given about eight or so nicknames to. One of them I use more than the others. But about eight all said. Well it came to a point where he finally drummed up the courage to give me one.

Unfortunately, the nickname he chose was Milky. And his reasoning is that I milk everything. And he’s right. Problem is, I have already given that nickname to somebody else. I’m sure my Milky milks everything too, but I can’t say that with 100% certainty. But that’s not why we call him Milk.

And like I said, I’ve been given plenty of others too.  And you might even know one or two of them. But the very best of the best, most all ya’ll don’t know. 

Of the best, here’s one you probably don’t know. It’s a small circled nickname that continues to pick up speed. There are probably, ohhhh, say about 10 women, 25 men, and but a handful of children(one in particular) that know me as Bird. Bee Eye Are Dee, Bird. I think it was given to me in 08′.  A star was born.

But Bird has been good to me. Heck, I might have even given it to myself, I forget. Regardless, what’s interesting about Bird, is that long after it should have been buried in the vault, it’s still lingering. Lingering hard actually.

Which is why, on February 19th, 2014, when my partner said to me, “You will now have to be known as Pollo, Pollo Fresco,” I was immediately taken back by it. Like it was meant to be.  


OK, so I needed a place to crash last February for about five nights. My partner said I could stay with him. I told him that I would have a BBQ chicken dinner ready for him when he came home from a long work day in the hot tropical sun. When he came home from work, I had done nothing. I mean I tried, but I just couldn’t pull it. Puerto must have had me in the grind.  Anyway, I told him that I couldn’t find any chicken.  He stood there motionless with his mouth open.  He said, and I quote, “You couldn’t find any chicken in Puerto?”

Of course then he went on to say stuff like not being able to find chicken in Puerto is like not being able to find ice on Everest. Or sand in the Sahara.

“Well i guess from now on, you will have to be known as Pollo. Pollo Fresco.”

Works for me..

Distrito Federal

Mexico City is a Big City. Maybe even the biggest, I don’t know. Last I heard, about 21 million people live within the city limits. Whoa Digger!

My partner told me that one time he got so lost that he had to pay a taxi driver to get him back on track. And no, he didn’t prepay the driver.

Ill timing, coupled with our situation, had us approaching Mexico City around 3:30pm. It didn’t feel like one of our better decisions thus far.

My partner told me that one time the sign to Cuernavca was so covered up by a tree, that he missed the turn, and had to get bailed out by a taxi.

There were toll roads on top of tunnels merging into highways. It was 75kph and bumper to bumper. I put down the Cheese Its and went Kyle Petty.