My Two Cents

Four to five days per week, I buy tacos and a juice from the ladies pushing the wheel barrel down my street.  It all goes down at 10ish.  Five tacos are two bucks.  One 32oz juice is a buck.  The juice changes everydaySandia, Melon, Coco, Horchata, Tamarindo etc.  The juice comes in a 32 oz Styrofoam cup.  Good ol Styrofoam.  Styrofoam is nice in the hot tropics because it keeps the juice cold for hours.  The ladies run a clean operation.  The lady making the tacos never touches the money.  The lady preparing the juice never touches the tacos.  Here’s a cute story.  From the hotel, I always yell down Cual Jugo?  One time she shouted Melon.  I shouted down Manana.  The next day I tried to explain that Orange Melon(Cantaloupe) is one of the few fruits that I have an allergy to.  Here’s where the story takes a turn towards cute.  My favorite of all the liquids is their Horchata.  They leave floating pieces of Melon in the Horchata, and it makes for a wonderful touch.  I noticed Shorty scooping OUT the melon chunks.  OMG!!!  NO NO NO!!  I knew why she was doing it, but couldn’t believe she had the care-with-all to do so.  Perhaps I’m an A client?  I tried to explain that I love the small melon chunks in my Horchata, but that a full 32 oz Melon drink always gets my throat and nose itchy.  She finally understood when I clutched up and said, “Mi throato no likee and lo recibo itchy and scratchyo cuando i drinko el melon, pero mi likee el melon chunkos en mi Horchata.”  Just a joke Yo.  I always bring my used cup down to reuse over and over and over.  And over.  That would be the definition of an unheard-of-practice down here.  Trying to do my part. Probably saving them two cents in the process…

On Second Thought

There’s a guy I keep seeing around.  He looks about 10 years younger than I.  He’s got a pretty hairy chest. Shirts are out of style here which is how and why I know.  In addition to his frontal forrest, he also has some hair that is creeping onto his upper back.  Normally no biggie.  I’ve got that exact soul patch, and it just so happens to be the softest bit of hair on my body.  Ask that one girl.  Anyway, every couple of years I get it shortened.  Not shaved, shortened.  Hacked back if you will.  It takes thirty seconds, and typically is performed by a close lady friend or family member.  But this isn’t about my hair.  This is about that guys’ that I keep seeing around.  Here’s where he went extra wrong.  No he didn’t shave it or wax it like many of you reading this do.  I see you!  He made the mistake of getting a tattoo there.  My guess is he got the tat in his early 20‘s, well before hair begins to appear on backs, between shoulder blades, inside ears, and the like.  Fast forward 15 years.  Little did this dude know that it would be impossible to make out what the tattoo is because it is hidden in his hairy jungle.  And the double dagger is that all the tattoo does is accentuate the hair and make it look thicker and darker than it probably is. Poor bastard!

Almost, Almost Famous

Dear Tim-

You don’t know me.  Murray is my stage name, and I am a 1990 Chico State Graduate.  I was leaving town when The Mother Hips were first arriving I suppose. I live here in Puerto Escondido, Oax.  You know….the Mexican Pipeline.  I know you are a surfer. You would like it here on many different levels.

Until I moved south of the border, I had been living in Santa Cruz.  I’ve seen you guys play a couple dozen times.  Seen your boy Jackie Greene grow up on stage too.  Even saw The Hips open for Jackie in Reno once.  I’m sure you remember that show.  We love our Truth & Salvage Co., our Skinny Singers, and we all caught The CRB bug when they ripped through Felton, CA.  We know you guys are all one big team of sorts, and what you are doing on stage these days is absolutely sick. Look Tim, I am trying to bring some of that sickness to the Mexican Tropics.

So I’m down here in Puerto.  I had an idea that you and Jackie would skinny up and come here to Puerto Escondido and play at the 2012 Puerto Blues Festival. It’s the 12th or 13th annual or something like that.  Maybe it’s just the 7th.  I don’t know.  I have no part of it whatsoever, I just told the heads that I may have an act to trump all acts.

Tim, the state of Oaxaca is very financially poor.  Unfortunately we can not pay you to come here.  I know you guys are way beyond playing for FREE, or are you?? The Puerto Blues Festival can totally take care of your airfare(which i know is expensive), and we can put you and Jackie up in a nice hotel for as long as needed. You would want to bring your own guitars, but all the sound would be provided by the venue.  Jackie is welcome to play my Roland if he wants, or I could just play it up there with you.(wink)  We have plenty of surfboards for both of you, so that you wouldn’t have to lug them on the plane.

What an opportunity to spend a bit of time in Puerto.  The muses are alive and well.  The Festival has like eight venues over the course of eight weeks or so. Always super talented acts.  Typically from Canada.  It all begins in mid January sometime. All music is played on a nice stage right on the beach.  Anywhere from 150 to 300 people will be watching.

I wouldn’t mislead you Tim.  It’s an enchanted land down here.  Please give it some thought, and get back in touch with me soon.  Hope to hear from you.