Sir Isaac Newton

I removed my sunglasses out of respect for what I was about to hear.  I didn’t want to take them off, but did it anyway.  The middle aged man was about to tell me that when he died, he wanted to me to guard his 360 gig hard drive.  I gave him that look.  He was serious.  I was thinking about the title to this blog.  He told me it was going to contain compiled information that could possibly change the course of our universe before the course of the universe becomes unchangeable.  I gave him that look.  He was dead serious.  I asked him to give me a little more info.  He told me that he has been compiling very important information, much of which can be found on the internet,(if you knew where, and dared to look) and much of the information is conclusive evidence that he has personally documented based on his compulsive compiling Efforts.  “much of it is in video form,” he said.

Obviously, my next question was, “What am I supposed to do with this hard drive, and what am I supposed to do with this hard drive when it is MY turn to die?”  He wanted me to guard it with my life, and that if I was still alive in 2060, which we both determined was easily possible, [and no sooner], I should bring it to either Jon Stewart or his predecessor.  “But Aaron, this is very crucial information that needs to be shared with as many human beings as possible.”—“And you want Jon Stewart to have this information…Why him?”—“I’m akin to his delivery.  He will be able to make perfect humor of the certain demise that will be plaguing and crippling our species,” the middle aged man replied.  I just sat there jaw open.  The grey haired man offered up some Kirkland Mixed Nuts.  I spotted a pecan, and made that my first nut.  I began to think about climate controlled hiding spots.