Dawn patrol on my doorstep.  It let out a diminished meow.  1000 thoughts rushed into my head.  I lifted it by the scruff and it shut its eyes.  8 weeks and male I supposed.  I had a kitten on my hands.

I crushed up two stale tortilla chips and added sunflower seeds.  It chowed like I imagined.  It then spit-shined itself up real diligently.  Confident I thought.  I will call you Junior, pronounced ‘HoonYour’.

Moral to Story:  When an unrealized pet makes it transparent that it has chosen you, turning a cheek is ill advised.  Statistically speaking, these animals have significantly more to offer you, than you might it.