The internet went down during a period of time when the hotel was full of guests that spend a good chunk of their pathetic day and night online. Day Traders dba Face Bookers. Regardless, it wasn’t good. The owner of the hotel was out of town with his family, and I couldn’t take another knock on my door. This was a job for Super Gringo.
The modem was almost too hot to touch. That’s never good. I hopped a collectivo and went looking for Armando. You can’t actually get to Armando anymore, rather his secretary’s secretary. Fuck. She informed me that she has no idea what I might be talking about, and that Armando is in Mazunte and will return manana. Double Fuck.
I went down to Tel Mex and stood in line with all the other Indians. When I got to the front, I tried to explain my sit chee eh shin, but it was hopeless. Some random European informed me that I needed to make a phone call from the modem itself to reach technical support. Good Gawd! I asked him if he knew where I could buy a cheap phone.
Two hours later I arrived back at the hotel. All eyeballs were on me. If they only knew what I was trying to pull off was nothing short of a true miracle, they would have offered up their support. I gave the entire hotel the Hang Tight. I then plugged our new phone into the thingie. I dialed some 16 digit number and hit the # key. Hola.
I asked for the English Dept because there was no way I was going to troubleshoot anything en Espanol. Ordering breakfast is one thing. Reconfiguring a modem in the heat is another. a soft spoken female got on the line. I could make out every other word she said. She me my was and bring old to Telmex receive. Took a taxi this go around.
I brought the old modem, the current bill, and my passport back down to the office. Thirty minutes later I was walking out of there with a brand new Infintium modem. It came in a box full of instructions. I went back to the hotel. I gave the entire hotel the Hang Tight. I reconfigured the set up and it worked. I took a cold shower. The sun set.
For the record: There was no possible way whatsoever that I could have pulled this off 6 months ago, or 4 months ago, or even last month. No chance. Way too many variables. Today however, I made Puerto History. I can’t explain it. For those of you out there that know what I am talking about, you know exactly what I am talking about.