By 2005, I was able to convince Kip & Spuds that Lance Armstrong deserved to be at the same table as Babe Ruth, Muhammed Ali, Michael Jordan, and Tiger Woods. A cozy little table for five. Lance’s achievements rung a little closer to my home than theirs, but they had hung around me long enough to know how unprecedented his fitness, combined with his competitive hunger, really was. Lance took it to the craziest, most unimaginable level. In every phase. In every way. And it all went down in Europe. It’d be the equivalent of some American Soccer Player coming along and becoming as good as Messi. No chance. No way. Once in a blue moon. And even with all the information coming out these days regarding him being a cheat and a liar, his sporting accolades, namely his 7 TDF titles still shines brighter than the Palmares of his ‘supposed’ table-mates.
Enter Kelly Slater
So me and my two close friends would talk regularly about this fictitious table for five. And the most common thread between these five athletes was that they single handedly Transcended Sport. Not only Their Sport, but All Sports.
Transcend /tran’send/ v Be or go beyond the range or limits of (something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division).
Born in 1895, Babe Ruth produced stats in baseball that FAR surmounted any player of his era. His 714 Career Slams, .342 lifetime batting avg., and his 2200+ RBI’s stood firm for quite some time. His 1200 IP combined with his 2.28 ERA proved that The Bambino could do it all. Then there was his 59 Home Runs in 1921, followed by his whopping 60 HomeRuns in 1927. Not to mention all the whispers about him being able to claim and predict his home runs. And what about all that black and white film that captures him “fast running” the bases even though he was a slow poke? Hot dog eating champion. Party Animal. Couldn’t deny The Babe of his Cigars & King’s Crowns. His $100,000 salary was 20x that of his peers. The Big Boy earned himself a candy bar, which is still my all time favorite. As a side note, I used to tell kids in school that I was named after Hank Aaron. He got a candy bar too, and I happen to love the Oh Henry as well. It just wasn’t in Caddyshack.
Enter Kelly Slater
Muhammed Ali always gets thrown into the best athlete of All Time conversations, just like you can’t talk about the NFL greatest of All Time without mentioning Jim Brown’s name. He became Ali long before it became trendy to change your name. He publicly resisted, refuted, and made mockery of the draft, all the while rubbing elbows with Malcom X, MLK and dem sortz a fellas. He was handsome, and pretty, and he floated like a butterfly. He spoke his mind as a black man in the racially prejudiced country that we still live in. And who can forget about his unlikely friendship with Howard Cossell? And to top all that off, he was The Self Proclaimed Greatest of All Time. But make no argument, Muhammed Ali fought spirited 15 round boxing matches all over the world, at a time when Heavyweight Boxers surely roamed the earth. 3 of his 5 career losses came when he was in his late 30‘s.(Berbick, Holmes, & Spinks) In his prime, he lost once to Ken Norton, and once to Joe Frazier. He also beat them big boys too. And Down Goes Frazier!! He was a BAAAAD man!
Enter Kelly Slater
What can you say about MJ that already hasn’t been said. Sort of a fading icon if you ask me, and as I am sure most real sports fans have begun to mutter. Even the “experts” are allowing Kobe’s name to creep into The MJ Debate. Especially if Kobe gets his sixth title. Then of course Lebron is coming of age, and who knows what that BEAST will end up becoming. I guess my point is that Michael Jordan absolutely put the third sport, NBA basketball, on the map for absolute good. It always took a two or three player combination of NBA players to identify the era. And along comes Michael Jordan. Guy makes a trillion zillion dollars with the whole Air Jordan phenomenon. Spike Lee commercials. You remember. But then there’s the womanizing and the gambling. And then the failed mini comeback. And what did HIS Charlotte Bobcats finish the year…10-72?? Da Bulls!
Enter Kelly Slater
Tiger Woods. Good Gads! He’s got to be relegated to the kids table. He had his chance. In the end, His one time “good friend and whistle blower” Roger Federer made himself a stronger case for this fancy dinner table of five than Tiger Woods ended up making for himself. Woods appeared on pace to double the number of majors that Jack Nicklaus set forth a generation prior. He was absolutely crushing the ball, and playing Uber-clutch golf week in and week out, Major In & Major Out. What about the Tiger Slam? The guy had it all. Unique name. Black Man in A White Man’s Arena. Clearly a once in a lifetime sort of athlete. But now he is stuck on however many majors. 14 is it? And then all his well-documented domestic BS. I’m done talking about this clown.
Enter 11x World Champion, Kelly Slater.