Passive Aggressive Prick

Ok, so German guy.  Seemed nice enough.  Gave me a measly 100 peso deposit, we shook hands, and he promised to appear the next day at 11am.  When he showed up at 10:40am, I had the early stages of suspiciousness.  Nobody shows up early for anything around here.  You’re lucky if they show up at all.  So he was early and it was noted.

He played the Passive-Aggressive card.  He came to my penthouse 3x his first night.  First to ask the WiFi password.  Next to ask if I had a wine bottle opener.  Finally to ask(tell) me if(that) there was(wasn’t) hot water.  He told me I should consider a stronger password.  No I don’t and You don’t Need It were my answers to visits #2 and #3.

He talked way too much.  Probably why he has an EX girlfriend.  I don’t know how she could have been with him for five minutes, let alone five years.  He is a professor in Berlin, or maybe he’s not.  I have no idea.  He started in on canines, futbol and Lance Armstrong.  I looked at my my watch and noticed it was time for him to shut the fuck up!

Jackass was in the process of getting my goat.  Big Jim sat me down and explained to me the two most important things about how to handle Passive-Aggressive behavior in our hotel.  First, never ever show anybody where you tie up your goat.  And second, understand that all guests will leave your life way sooner than later.  “Trust me,” he said.

Check this one out.  He asked for the key to the utility closet.  I asked why.  He said he wanted to clean his room.  I opened the closet.  He found me 30 minutes later to tell me that his room is now cleaned the right way, and that I should educate our maid on how to properly do it.  He wanted to know if I wanted to see what he cleaned.  I flinched.

I totally went Jekyl and Hyde on his ass.  I’m good at it too.  I don’t love doing it, but I don’t hate it either.  Sorta takes some talent and wit to create lingering and befuddling impressions like I can.  He couldn’t draw on any of his world experience to battle my new and APProved persona.  He began to tip toe around me.  Ho Ho Ho dickhead!