I sent the delightful British couple to the roof to ask the Oregon clowns if they were planning to leave their room ASAP.  I was done dealing with them.  They seemed cool at first glance.  It’s more the spot in the heart that Californians have for the Ore Gawn folk.  I wouldn’t even know why.  For me it was more refreshing to hear Oregon than Brazil, Australia, or Israel etc. “Oh Nice. I’m Aaron and I’m from Santa Cruz.  Bummer about your ear.  Give me a second and I will join you guys up top.”

I began having early doubts about jackass.  It took him but five minutes to start playing the divorce card.  The divorce had been final eight months ago.  His wife left him.  “My wife and I went to a counselor and the only thing she could say against me was that I was too nice a guy.”  I lowered my sunglasses, nodded a lot, and wondered how small his penis really was.  At first, he wasn’t too pathetic.  But he just went on & on & on.  We started to talk about hotel rates.  I smelled a rat.

Victims look for enablers, so naturally he turned to me.  He wanted me to enable him to get exactly what he had no idea whether he wanted or not.

So the original guy I met downstairs was not really in the picture.  Both his ears were fucked up.  Couldn’t really hear. Couldn’t surf.  He was looking at surgery back in the US.  He was bummin.  And he got real sick too.  Puerto is not a good place to not be at one’s best.  I’ve yet to go there.  So he was down and out.  Big Jim brought him a papaya once.  I did my best to pass along what it is I pass along.  It’s a shtick(le) of Love, Athletics, and Dry Sense.  They didn’t know how to buy into it.

But the leader of this victim duo was looking for something that wasn’t there out of me.  He didn’t trust me.  He wasn’t respecting me.  So what did I do to with Baldy from Oregon??  Not a damn thing.  I performed a double reverse takeaway and it worked to a T.  I lined up the Brits to apply the needed force.  When Homie asked me if they could leave several of their boards at the hotel while they travelled south, I said, “You’re welcome to ask the Big Man should you dare”.  Adios & Poof..